7 Questions – Bailey Jay

I don’t think this video needs any introduction.  Instead I’ll later do a follow up post addressing some of the issues Bailey raises here, as well as more details on the projects we’re starting.  Big thanks to Bailey for sharing this exclusively with We Happy Trans.  Enjoy!

[click here if the video above doesn’t work]

Need more?  Here’s two hours of Bailey and I chatting on Third Gender Radio (see below for an index and link).  Check out all  the episodes here.


Original post
Savannah & Erica on Buck Angel 
Anderson Cooper segment
Trans Love Stories
WTF Trans Dating


  • Opening – 6:00: announcing new show – “Sugar & Spice”, sex lives;
  • 6:00: details about Shemalia Film Fiasco;
  • 11:00: Ambassadors to Tranny Land, race issues, NPR;
  • 20:00: Anderson Cooper segment on woman’s claim that Finasteride made her trans, media representations;
  • 30:00: hormones;
  • 35:00: trans people judging each other;
  • 42:00: the word “tranny”, overlap between drag & trans communities;
  • 59:00: porn;
  • 1:05:00: Buck Angel;
  • 1:19:00: language policing, “crazy”;
  • 1:34:00: the Presidential election, health insurance, trans leaders;
  • 1:51:00: totally random stuff, how Bailey & her husband met, chasers.

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38 comments for “7 Questions – Bailey Jay

  1. Shelby Green
    October 6, 2012 at 10:25 am

    I so agree with you on the issues with the infighting and waste of positive energy on the minutia of terminology and names. You have the right to do anything with your body you want. Go you!

  2. bluechan
    October 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    It’s my birthday today and, sincerely, you, beautiful Bailey, just made my day with your candid video. I feel you. All the best.

  3. Christina
    October 6, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    I’m glad to see you found a happy corner of life. I’m still stuck in limbo where I can’t transition. Good luck to you!

  4. bobby
    October 6, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    no… thank you! that was not just an entertaining video about bailey jay but also a beautiful plea for the trans community to step back and maybe show a little compassion for there fellow trans people and toward the community as a whole.

  5. Asurnasurpal
    October 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    Thank you. I needed this. I’ve felt very invalidated as of late, and I need to be able to say that I’m not wrong for being the way I am. I am proud of being a freak.

  6. Aaron
    October 15, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    Awesome video, she is a very cool person. It sounds like she’s found a lot about who she is and seems comfortable in her skin and happy.

  7. Clairese
    October 23, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Bailey, you are such a cutey and so telegenic. It is wonderful that you are, as you say, “…growing-up…” Living in upstate NY, married and clearly forming a mature mind shows that you are clearly on the right path. I expect that you will join the local Rotary Club soon.

    I hope that you will set a great example by quitting smoking. Transwomen who are on estrogen have nearly a 100% chance of contracting cancer when they also smoke. It isn’t speculation, or a few studies anymore, the preponderance of evidence proves that if you smoke and are on estrogen supplements, you will most likely contract cancer, and many of our sisters will die from this dreaded disease. Bailey, you could become the spokeswoman for quitting smoking; this is how you may serve the transgendered community.

    On another subject: No transgendered person is any less of a woman, if they elect to retain their birth genitalia in their original form. The surgery is still so ghastly and crude. I think that we will continue to see more transwomen who are openly comfortable with keeping their genitalia without modification, and as we are now seeing, increased acceptance by general society, of those who do.

  8. Aeron
    October 26, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    Clairese, don’t you think it’s a might offensive to trans women who do feel the need to have surgery to call it ‘ghastly and crude’? I absolutely agree that it’s not a requirement, and that if someone is happy with and can accept their birth genitalia, then that’s a good thing (and society needs to adapt to accept it), but some people simply cannot tolerate the dysphoria their natal genitalia causes them. Making those people feel worse about themselves is not a good way of making pre- or non-op trans people feel better.

    Also, Bailey, that was a wonderful video, thankyou for making it and sharing.

  9. Marc
    November 1, 2012 at 6:41 am

    Bailey, you’re an awesome person!

  10. Lorelei Erisis
    November 1, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Wow! That was really fantastic and inspirational. Also, very brave. I appreciated your discussion of the grey areas of gender identity and mention of Kate Bornstein who was a huge inspiration for me as well. And I especially appreciated your stance on infighting in our community. This is incredibly damaging and needs to stop. If we can’t figure out a way to come together instead of tearing each other apart, to support each other, we will never be able to make the change we want to see. Together we are strong.
    More than anything though, I was touched by your personal candor and openess about your own fears and insecurities. It is a nicely humanizing touch that help to underline your points about growth and community. All in all, as the original Miss Trans New England 2009, I heartily approve and thank you for being you!


  11. Buttercups
    November 4, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Wow, you are awesome. Not just beautiful on the outside and showing more comfort in your own skin than a lot of transwomen I have known. The kind of transwomen who would probably hate on you for what you do for a living. I would have maybe been judgmental about that work too not so long ago but I don’t care now. You are cool and count me as one transwoman who thinks that you are a good influence on me. Because what you have to say from your heart and experience matters and I think you are very smart too. I hope you are blessed with happiness for the rest of your life. Thanks for sharing this.

  12. martin
    November 21, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    “The more you like yourself, the less you´re hurting others.”
    Good stuff Bailey Jay. Competitiveness and comparing yourself to others really is pointless.
    You are pure awesomeness :)

  13. Max Durrington
    November 22, 2012 at 11:30 am

    I’m going to spending thanksgiving by myself, but this video made me feel like I just got a nice long hug from Bailey Jay and now I don’t feel so alone.

  14. dylan
    November 30, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    Awww, what an awesome person! :)

  15. chris russell
    December 11, 2012 at 12:44 am

    I dont see the gender thing,you are neither man nor woman. all i see is WOWman. beauty isnt always about the physical attributes. You have proven its all about attitude.keep on doing what you are doing..Dont change a thing about the way you are. after all you see the world much better than people to whom of which are not gender challenged.

  16. Ben
    December 18, 2012 at 3:42 am

    You are a great hero to me. This video was incredibly inspiring and has increased my already large amount of respect for you ten fold.

    The infighting is a terrible thing all over the LGBT community. As a Bi male(by birth) I have been told on many occasions by other gay men that my sexuality doesn’t exist. I have been told I am just on my way to being gay. To have who I am denied by the people in a community already so tormented by disrespect and discrimination is incredibly painful. The last thing we all need to be doing is criticizing each other, we get enough of that from the outside.

    Your frankness and honesty took my breathe away and I love you and thank you for it. I think we are all a bit self conscious and self loathing. Your call for a more internally supportive community is exactly what we need.

    Thank you Bailey.

    Thank you.

  17. Paul
    December 30, 2012 at 5:42 am

    Many of my thoughts would only echo what’s been said by other commenters. I have to add something though, since how you carry yourself and what you say makes me cry happy tears. You are so very much you, and become moreso every day. While we’re on different paths, you inspire me to do the same.

    Many thanks and much love!

  18. joseph
    January 3, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    I wish I could have been so self aware when I was so young. She is an eloquent speaker for all people who feel like strangers in their own skin, not just the trans community.

  19. jessica munguia
    January 5, 2013 at 11:34 am

    bailey i think you are so amazing i am not trans i am just an average girl and what you say about anxiety and self consciousness helps me so much thanks bailey we love you

  20. Johnny Jewel
    January 6, 2013 at 6:20 pm

    As a “fan” of Bailey’s I have to say that this is the best of Bailey I’ve seen. She’s smart/funny/thoughtful/sexy/talented and bound for bigger and better things in the future. I’d love to see her on Letterman – I think she’d be a great guest. Thanks for giving her this platform to express her thoughts.

  21. Silent O'Boyle
    January 10, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    You come across as honest, sensitive, warm, fearless, self-aware …. I could go on.
    You’re an inspiration. There should be more like you (in every sense).


  22. Alnvegas
    January 13, 2013 at 3:34 am

    Bailey you are a beautiful person inside as well as out.

  23. Frank Verstraeten
    January 16, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    my dear miss Bailey , i just looked at the video , and i must say you are a BEAUTIFUL person.

  24. mara
    January 17, 2013 at 12:01 am

    What happend to the radio show?
    Thanks for all you do, and best wishes with your own journey.


    • Jen
      January 17, 2013 at 12:07 am


      Sugar & Spice has replaced Third Gender Radio. We’re committed to making it a regular show, but with the holidays and a few other major projects, we haven’t had a chance to record E2. We’re hoping to find a time in the next two weeks. Stay tuned!


  25. Stephanie
    January 28, 2013 at 8:27 am

    I would just like to say bailey You have helped me to continue my passion and personality that makes me feel discriminated against, your honesty changed me and to hear you talk in the face of fear you have served me…if only one person you have helped the greater good, thank you. I only hope that i can gain as much confidante and comfort as you, thanks for the ramble :) you must be so blessed to have a husband that understands. I hope your personal projects takes off so you don’t have to do as much adult work.

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  27. Dana
    March 1, 2013 at 5:31 am

    Great “interview”! Bailey Jay is just gorgeous inside and out.

  28. Christina Snowblood
    March 31, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    Wow! I have always liked Bailey and thought she was adorable but it is so refreshing to hear how healthy and smart she is. Bailey, you are a great role model for transgirls, even old ones like me! Keep doing what you do. Much Love, Tina

  29. June 27, 2013 at 12:32 am

    Never thought I would watch Bailey Jay for nineteen minutes and not have my pants go boing! Thank you for sharing this with us, and I hope to see you in more Evil Angel scenes!

  30. Nobody Special
    September 3, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    Great job, Bailey Jay! Have you considered a career in acting–movies, TV, etc.? How about talk radio? You have the talent for either–or both.

    Thanks for a very entertaining performance. You were much better than the movie. (That’s NOT an insult, btw.)

    Thanks to you and Jen, too, for the insightful Sugar and Spice recordings. Very insightful and educational–a little biased, contradictory, and sort of blanket bigoted at times (not to be confused with racist), with a bit of naivete showing through in some areas; but otherwise very good.

    Will there be more episodes of Shemalia’s Film Fiasco, or is the one all there will be? I think you should pitch the idea to the TV networks like USA, SciFi Channel, or Fox–or even Showtime or HBO. Seriously.

    Thanks again for all that you and Jen do for the Trans community and to educate and enlighten everyone else.

    Be sweet!
    Daisy Mae

  31. rebecca@altaredspaces.com
    November 14, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    “The more I like myself, the less I want to hurt others.” Ahhhh. And the realization that when others are sending up flairs, they are also hurting.


    I told my husband in a text today, “I look angry when I’m hurt. I’m sorry about that. I bet that is scary for you.”

    So my job is learning to like myself. The anger will softly and gently fall away…little by little as I grow up.

  32. dani love
    January 26, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    I just watched 7 questons with Bailey Jay and she was so so inspiring. Thank You Bailey, i felt like i was listening to my sister and i felt that hug that you were wanting to give.

  33. Gary
    January 29, 2014 at 5:22 am

    Wow – it was so refreshing to hear real-life stuff come out of your heart. All of us need more of that.. There’s so much healing that needs to be done around our sexuality – whatever that may be – at any given moment. Perhaps simply being human IS cliche, and it wouldn’t be so, if we just took the time to listen and talk with each other. You displayed a wonderful example of appropriate self-disclosure and vulnerability. My prayers and best wishes are with you as you grow further into your life.

    I was afforded the opportunity to know several trans-folk through my workplace (both mtf and ftm – we had a GREAT medical benefit package). Knowing them has opened my self-perspective to degrees I would have never conceived. I’ve always been liberal in my views of sexuality – but that’s been abandoned for more of what Kate Bornstein describes. Ultimately, our humanness and humanity has a variety of streams of expression which we can choose to wade into if we are so bold.

    And sometimes – we can enjoy the spashing too!!

  34. Ellie Mentle
    September 4, 2014 at 4:59 pm

    Thanks for doing this Bailey. You are maturing beautifully, and yes, “we” are not the enemy. By the way, you don’t need to excuse or defend your avocation to me, kid. My wish for you is that you find income doing more of the stuff you really love to do without having to take off your top :) We are, all of us, works in progress. Love the wedding pic!
    (((big hug)))

  35. Brenda
    February 17, 2015 at 11:26 pm

    thank you! You may not consider yourself a “guru” but I found a lot of wisdom in your video. I may not know exactly who I want to be, but I know I want to be a better person. Thank you for sharing with us.

  36. Bulruq
    March 9, 2015 at 1:45 am

    Bailey you are warm and absolutely CHARMING! You must be a lot of fun to hang out with in your everyday life. I loved your comments on infighting in the trans community. Many times I have been roundly criticized, even viciously attacked on the internet by the trans community because I am open about being a “straight” male only attracted to pre-ops. I was flabbergasted when one from England showed herself to be just as bigoted against men who feel like me. She was every bit as biased and hateful as those who discriminate against her own community of gays and transgenders; but no matter how much I tried to reason with her, she just couldn’t or WOULDN’T see it! I suspect that some of that anger is because there are a lot of pre-op trans girls out there who can’t afford the high cost of SRS and seek out “Sugardaddies” they can con in to paying for it; after a little “slap and tickle” action.
    Like you, I see gender as far more than what’s hanging between our legs but more about our gender roles and what we are comfortable with. Clearly you husband feels the same way! I actually had a live-in relationship with a pre-op “Tgirl” that lasted over a year. We were BOTH happy with our roles in our home and the sex was VERY satisfying for both of us. In fact the ONLY problem we had was that, because I’m 55 years old and she’s 40, she had a greater sexual appetite than me!
    With your healthy and balanced attitude towards gender and sexuality, you would make a GREAT counselor for trans people of all types; have you ever considered that as a career? Have you ever met or heard of an adult actress named Sienna Grace? She DESPERATELY needs a friendly arm around her shoulder and some love and support!

  37. Jade Mckee
    April 17, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    I am a transgender (mtf) i haven’t started hormones yet so i’m still all male (sigh). I did find you through pornographic material but you are a huge role model to me and I believe that it’s beautiful that you can be yourself and you can do what makes you happy and i hope one day to be as beautiful and amazing as you.

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